Cooking with Pagans
Freak Kitchen · 2014
47 min · 12 tracks · hard rock
A chaotic blend of hard rock and heavy metal infused with dark humor and biting satire.
Top tracks — play these first
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Professional Help — This opening track sets the tone for the album with its energetic riffs and satirical take on self-help culture, encapsulating the band's distinctive blend of humor and musicality.
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(Saving Up for an) Anal Bleach — The provocative title and sharp lyrics demonstrate Freak Kitchen's penchant for pushing boundaries while delivering a catchy hard rock anthem that challenges societal norms.
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Once Upon a Time in Scandinavistan — This track combines storytelling with a powerful instrumental backdrop, reflecting on socio-political themes through a uniquely Scandinavian lens, making it both relatable and engaging.
Elevation
Our rating, out of 100 — and why.
AI-generated from five scored dimensions. An opinion, not a measurement.
The album combines sharp songwriting with technical musicianship, creating a unique sound within its genre.
What we noticed
- The first track opens with a rapid-fire guitar riff that sets a frenetic pace, which is maintained through the first half of the album.
- Several tracks feature abrupt tempo changes, such as 'Mathematics of Defeat', which shifts from a slow groove to an aggressive chorus.
- Lyrics often employ dark humor and satire, with songs like '(Saving Up for an) Anal Bleach' using provocative titles to engage listeners.
- Composition 25% of the score
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7/10
- Craft 20% of the score
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8/10
- Durability 25% of the score
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6/10
- Distinctiveness 18% of the score
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7/10
- Sequencing 12% of the score
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6/10
the writing — melody, harmony, structure, lyrics
production, performance, arrangement
whether it rewards returning to it
whether it sounds like itself
running order, pacing, length
Known within its scene. Reported but not counted — how far a record travelled describes its reception rather than the record, and a newer release has had less time to travel than an older one.
Is this for you?
Good fit if you like
- sharp humor with chaotic energy
- playful irreverence throughout tracks
- engaging sing-alongs with friends
- short bursts of lively fun
Maybe skip if you
- seeking introspective, calm sounds
- prefer straightforward lyrical themes
Where this album fits
- Career context
- Cooking with Pagans is Freak Kitchen's sixth studio album, released in 2014 after their 2009 album, Land of the Freaks. At this point, the band had established themselves within the rock and metal scenes, continuing to refine their distinct sound characterized by complex arrangements and sharp lyrical wit. This album represents a continuation of their signature style while also exploring new thematic territory.
- Stylistic neighbors
- The Aristocrats· Dream Theater· Steve Vai
Tracklist
Best experienced from track one — press play and let it unfold.
- 1 Professional Help 3:49
- 2 Freak of the Week 4:19
- 3 Sloppy 4:38
- 4 Goody Goody 3:29
- 5 (Saving Up for an) Anal Bleach 4:20
- 6 Private Property 4:32
- 7 Mathematics of Defeat 4:56
- 8 I Don't Want to Golf 3:54
- 9 Hide 3:18
- 10 Come Back to Comeback 3:07
- 11 Ranks of the Terrified 3:31
- 12 Once Upon a Time in Scandinavistan 3:41
Reference: Wikipedia · MusicBrainz · Wikidata
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